Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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