Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
