remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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