How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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