when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
