i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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