theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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