Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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