Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
