I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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