1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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