You can't special order awesome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
