I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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