I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
