i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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