I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
