if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize