Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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