He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize