I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize