I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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