Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize