Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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