OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
