sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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