My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize