I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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