i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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