Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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