In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Edward fifth and chaser hands
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
