dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
