a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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