I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
