No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize