Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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