Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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