yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
did you just send me my own nude
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
