You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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