Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
