So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
