Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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