Me too!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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