last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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