Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
