Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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