Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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