It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize