Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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