All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
