i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i barfeds in our rink
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
