Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
