Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
