I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
