Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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