Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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