and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love you.
Bad choice
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
