Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
