it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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